Kristyns Thoughts

Originally this was going to be a pessimism post, because I really didn't see a point in trying to be optimistic. I've seen quite a bit of negative lately so I figured I would simply follow the trend. However, when I began to write about something super negative, I recognized an blessing in disguise.  Ew. A blessing?!  Yup, a blessing. Let me tell ya, when you want to find the negative, it is really frustrating when you can see a silver lining in everything. I think this last week has been the only time the gift of finding the good has actually seemed like a bad gift to me. (remember the scripture Isaiah 5:20, ya, this was applied directly to my life) Say what you want, but satan is smart. I mean, he was rather stupid when he wanted his own plan (that's a totally different story. But still) But he has so many clever ways to get us to follow him. I am sure he knew that this was one of the hardest weeks for me, and I am positive he knew that getting me to ...

This morning (Saturday) I awoke to a comment on a picture of mine from a few months ago, and it honestly made my heart tear in two. So many things had changed since that shutter release button was pressed, and the picture was taken. My thoughts wandered to how different life had been, and how much I yearned for it to be like that still. Even though I know I can't go back, there are somedays I still wish I could warn myself, and just be that person for another minute or two. I would go to tell myself to pay special attention to the semi- stranger I would bring a blue gift basket to after surgery. I would tell myself that all the time I spent working for my grades was going to pay off. I would tell myself that one day I wouldn't be able to leave school to adventure, so doing it a few times would be A-okay. I would go to tell myself that cheering in the stands was always a better idea then staying home and watching a movie. The good thing is I can't go back, but I can reflec...

I've come to the conclusion that life is sometimes very tough. Often times (especially lately) I've found myself simply trying to endure. Trying to make it from one day to the next. I think we all get like that. We all have trials, challenges, and hard days. Sometimes these days turn into weeks, and sadly sometimes they turn to months. This is simply a part of life. We get caught up on things, and just make it through things. Especially amidst trials we tend to turn to autopilot mode, and just endure. Truthfully, I hate enduring.  I mean, who wants to endure through trials? Who wants to endure something they don't think they deserve simply to make it to the end and say they endured? Who wants to keep going even when it gets so tough that life becomes something to just endure? Not me. I may not be a quitter, but sometimes I feel being told to simply endure everything, is one of the worst things in the world. However, as I've...

Time is something so valuable to me lately. Maybe I'm just cheesy, and sentimental about a new year. Or maybe it's the fact that everything I've known ends in a few months. I'm thinkin' it's probably a little bit of both... Time is something that I always thought only old people would have to truly worry about, I thought that it was only something that exists when death is around the corner. I thought time was infinite. I thought "just a second, sweetie" would last for an eternity. Especially in terms of waiting for a sucker at the bank. But it turns out I was so very wrong. Time isn't as infinite as I thought, it doesn't stop, and it doesn't care how much you have left of it. Time is a four letter word that has been holding incomprehensible value to me lately. I have come to the conclusion that time is always fleeting, but we shouldn't dwell on that. (Because that would take up even more time, which is lame) Instead, I want to focu...

I've been at a loss for words the past couple weeks. Which doesn't happen often to me. I've always been someone who can, for the most part, adequately say what I'm feeling. I speak my mind, even if I really shouldn't. But when the last few months started to fill with visits to the doctors, mri scheduling, needle pokes, events I was missing out on, and time that always seemed to be fleeting; I was at a loss. I haven't been able to explain every emotion. I'm not sure if anyone ever can, but it seemed to me that everything needed to be compartmentalized, and not spoken of. When I found out I was sick, my first reaction was denial. I try to be an optimist, and for a while I convinced myself that being optimistic, in this case, meant pretending that I wasn't sick. It meant that anytime someone asked, I simple told them I was fine and there was nothing to be worried about, but I realized that was my easy out. The easy thing was to pretend that everything was e...

This month has been exceptionally hard, but I feel super duper blessed to have such lovely people around me supporting me. I have been thinking about how much each person in my life has changed. Whether big or small, the effects of the people around me have changed who I am. Pondering this, I thought of the most recent/best/biggest supporters in my life. Here are just a handful of the people who have impacted my life, and one or two reasons I am grateful for them... Bekah J- She taught me that everything can be made better with a long conversation&your best friend Braden A- Shows me to to be an example, and never made me go to the temple alone. Also happens to make me laugh, and best adventuring partner. Alyssa W- By far my favorite just dance buddy, and near to next door neighbor. One of the few people I wholeheartedly trust with anything Spencer R- Rolls his eyes at me daily, but always listens when I want to say anything Tanner S- She gave me a pep talk before prom las...

To the cute sophomores who will soon be walking down the halls, and the juniors who think they have it all figured out, here are a few handy dandy little things I've learned- 1. Be kind - be kind to your friends, family, teachers, the people who only talk to you sometimes, strangers, and everyone you come across. I promise it will make the biggest difference in your life 2. Smile - smile through the good days, the bad days, the silly days, and all the days in between. Everyone needs a smile, and smiles are contagious :) 3. If you don't know someone who is sitting at your lunch table, meet them. You instantly gain a friend, or at least a familiar face in the hallways 4. If you are stuck in the commons and the bell for lunch rang over 5 minutes ago, simply wait until the last ten minutes of lunch to grab your food or you will be waiting FOREVER . (Or take a friend to wait with you, or make a friend in the lunch line. Either way) 5. Turn in things on time. A 1...