Kristyns Thoughts

We talked about the first cost of fertility- the financial cost (part 1). This one might be a greater cost than financial & that is the physical cost. Physically it takes a large toll on your body. The most common infertility medications are Clomid & Fermara (Letrozole). These two drugs were what I was prescribed first by my OBGYN & secondly by the fertility clinic. Both drugs are used in IUIs (Inter Uterine Insemination) because they can help induce ovulation, thus helping clinics to know when women will have the highest 2 day window of conception & be able to inject sperm. This is especially helpful if cycles are not consistent or if there has been a suspected lack of ovulation. These two drugs, along with trigger shots, and nice inter-uterine-insemination have been what my body has personally had to endure. We did Letrozole for seven cycle months with the OBGYN & then have done an additional six cycles of Letrozole along with two cycles of Clomid. The saddest p...

Infertility is a whole lot of things: heartbreaking, hopeful, exhausting, and also expensive.  The obvious cost of infertility is the first one I'm going to talk about on here because its often the one people know a little bit about- the actual financial cost you pay to actually receive infertility treatments. When we started on medications I was actually still seeing an OBGYN. It had been a year of TTC with no luck, so we went to the doctors and started on a treatment plan.  The medications were timed around my cycle and horribly enough, they made me feel like I was pregnant even when I wasn't. They made me nauseous (so there was another med to counteract that) and some made my headaches turn to migraines for 4-5 days straight. (but more on the physical tolls of infertility later...). Luckily, during this phase of our journey, we were only paying about $300 a month for medications and appointment co-pays. We saw that OBGYN doc for nine months before setting up an appointment ...

This whole blog world might be dead but I have been feeling the urge to get all my thoughts out and on paper (or computer) during my lunch breaks. So I've had some drafts for the last several months. This blog will now be dedicated to those who are feeling like I am: alone, frustrated, and like they need somewhere to put all their thoughts down. This will be the place.  A few nights ago I was on the bedroom floor, fetal position- where I find myself more and more these days- and my angelic husband put his arms around me and told me to tell him what felt like the worst part of going through infertility. I thought for a while and I came to two major negatives for being in the thick of infertility: 1. You never know if it will last forever, or if any treatment will work, no matter how hard you try. 2. It feels like no one understand you or the weight of infertility. Well, my husband helped to dust me off & I got everything ready for work the next morning. On that first day back to...

My decision wasn't made easily. I didn't have one of those "AH-HA" moments. Serving a mission actually wasn't always something I wanted to origionally do. Speaking totally honestly, I was pretty sure I would get married before I would ever even consider leaving on a mission. When the mission age changed I felt like it was something I could consider in my long list of options, but it was number 10 on a list of 10 things to do after high school. I had felt the greatest spiritual prompting to this date when President Monson announced the age change, so I thought a little more about it but then it resumed it's faithful spot on my list of things to do if all else failed. The decision kinda came more like an idea. Like a slow growing desire. An, oh yeah so most of my friends are leaving on a mission, and I think that's something I may want to look more into. It slowly became an idea that seemed like something I really wanted to do. I went to miss...

I've been living in Provo now for a few weeks, and everything is actually lovely. I like my cute little apartment that I get to call home. I love my roommates. I like my YSA ward. I've been on a few fun dates, I have a kid sitting next to me in my Eng 2040 class who has the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen. (Like I can't talk to him without completely staring because they are beautiful). I've been able to go zip lining with my stake, swimming with my building, and Disney movie watching after ward prayer on Sundays. Life is really happy, which is something it hasn't been in quite a while for me. But a little too often it hits me. It hits me that a year from now everything will be different. It hits me that my little sister isn't sleeping in the room next to me, it hits me that my brother is probably building something and I don't even know about it. It hits me that at any second my mom could call from the hospital, and it hits me that every time I go ho...

An open letter to the ones who will soon be starting their first day of a year full of last. (& if you aren't a senior- I have another high school post that I love. Here . Read it) :) Dear Senior here are a few things I learned that I wish I had known sooner, 1) Please, I don't say this lightly , please cherish every moment. Time moves quickly and before you know it you are singing the fight song for the very last time surrounded by people you've been able to see everyday for years. (eeek, feelin' sentimental just thinking about it) 2) You will be starting the year with so many hopes, and expectations. My dear seniors, senior year is as great as you make it! Make it rock. *cue Hannah Montana song* 3) Go. to. every. dance you possibly can. If you don't get asked, and you have had ANY desire to go to the dance, then go. One of my very favorite dances was one where a group of my best friends got together and partied it out. We sang all the songs, laughe...