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Showing posts from December, 2015

finally found a few words.

I've been at a loss for words the past couple weeks. Which doesn't happen often to me. I've always been someone who can, for the most part, adequately say what I'm feeling. I speak my mind, even if I really shouldn't. But when the last few months started to fill with visits to the doctors, mri scheduling, needle pokes, events I was missing out on, and time that always seemed to be fleeting; I was at a loss. I haven't been able to explain every emotion. I'm not sure if anyone ever can, but it seemed to me that everything needed to be compartmentalized, and not spoken of. When I found out I was sick, my first reaction was denial. I try to be an optimist, and for a while I convinced myself that being optimistic, in this case, meant pretending that I wasn't sick. It meant that anytime someone asked, I simple told them I was fine and there was nothing to be worried about, but I realized that was my easy out. The easy thing was to pretend that everything was e...