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slightly super sentimental

Time is something so valuable to me lately. Maybe I'm just cheesy, and sentimental about a new year. Or maybe it's the fact that everything I've known ends in a few months.

 I'm thinkin' it's probably a little bit of both...

 Time is something that I always thought only old people would have to truly worry about, I thought that it was only something that exists when death is around the corner. I thought time was infinite. I thought "just a second, sweetie" would last for an eternity. Especially in terms of waiting for a sucker at the bank. But it turns out I was so very wrong. Time isn't as infinite as I thought, it doesn't stop, and it doesn't care how much you have left of it. Time is a four letter word that has been holding incomprehensible value to me lately. I have come to the conclusion that time is always fleeting, but we shouldn't dwell on that. (Because that would take up even more time, which is lame) Instead, I want to focus more on the moments everyday. I don't want to regret loosing any time, on moments that could impact my life, or someone elses.

 I am learning to cease every opportunity, to not be scared. I am beginning to understand why people create bucket lists, and life goals. It isn't necessarily about completing a list of things, but it is about the moments and memories created. It is about how time is being spent, and finding what is worth your time.

 This year I am appreciating moments. I am creating memories. And I am trying to live as if time is beginning to run out, because it has. Time is already decreasing for each of us, so my question is simply, how will you spend the rest of your time?

 -I am choosing to...
- work on a journal so hopefully my words, usually written after tough days, will help someone in the future. Even if it is just to help myself. 
- take time to talk to friends I have grown apart from. Old ties are something I don't want to just disappear
- forgive. Forgive those who don't know of what I am facing, and forgive those whom I once trusted wholeheartedly but have now broken pieces of my trust. I still want to love them & I'm trying to.
-love more fully. I am not being afraid of showing others how much I care (Have I already told you that I appreciate you 45 times today? Well, here is the 46 time coming your way!)
- not be fearful. I don't want to be scared of talking to the cute boy I've had a crush on for the last two years, turns out time doesn't allow for much fear. & I'm not allowing myself to walk by people I love without seeing how they are doing. (I struggle with this, because I am always afraid of bothering people. But I figured people would rather be bothered by those who care, then those who don't)
-spend all the time I can with people that matter. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I want to be able to go to the parties, dances, game, adventures. Some days I can't make it to things due to dr appointments, or surgeries, or testing, so I want to go to all that I physically can. Missing out on senior year is not an option. 

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