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the sincere prayer.

This morning (Saturday) I awoke to a comment on a picture of mine from a few months ago, and it honestly made my heart tear in two. So many things had changed since that shutter release button was pressed, and the picture was taken. My thoughts wandered to how different life had been, and how much I yearned for it to be like that still. Even though I know I can't go back, there are somedays I still wish I could warn myself, and just be that person for another minute or two.

I would go to tell myself to pay special attention to the semi- stranger I would bring a blue gift basket to after surgery. I would tell myself that all the time I spent working for my grades was going to pay off. I would tell myself that one day I wouldn't be able to leave school to adventure, so doing it a few times would be A-okay. I would go to tell myself that cheering in the stands was always a better idea then staying home and watching a movie. The good thing is I can't go back, but I can reflect on the past, and help improve the future. And that is what I thought I was doing this time last year...

Life was going beautifully. (seriously, last year was one of the funnest years of my 18 years I've had on this earth) but amidst all the beautiful things I had going, I decided to say a prayer. This prayer was different then the other ones I had said before. This prayer was offered after my nightly general conference talk reading, and I believed it helped change my perspective on life. That night I had read a talk by Henry B. Eyring called, "Mountains to Climb." I would sum it up, but I believe that you should just read it. Seriously, just go read it ----->
(link-https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/mountains-to-climb?lang=eng)

Okay, so now that you've read it I can explain something to you. First off, I wanted a stronger testimony. I knew I had a pretty solid foundation, but if an apostle of God can pray for challenges, then I can too. (boy, I should've realized I'm not as strong or wise as an apostle, but I prayed regardless) So that night I prayed for a mountain to climb. I prayed for something that would help me in the future, and something that would solidify not only my testimony, but the testimony of those around me and my future family. I prayed because I wanted to improve my future, and make it even better then the present. So I prayed for a mountain.

HAHAHAHAHA.
How naive I was to pray for this.
I had no idea what was coming my way.

I said my prayer, and I quickly went to bed afterwords. Fast forward to now, and I'm not totally sure I would pray for this mountain if I was given that second chance to go back and warn myself, if I'm being completely honest. Currently I am a senior in high school (a battle all within itself). I just got out of surgery two days ago where they removed (cross your fingers they got it all) a cancerous mass from my left leg. While at the hospital it was discovered that my heart is literally skipping a beat. (And I thought it just did that when I talked to my cute friends that are boys...) so I have to meet with some cardiologists, and wear a nifty heart monitor. I also have an AP Lit essay to write, four pages of notes I am behind on, a yearbook to finish, a t-shirt to design, and scholarships to apply for. I don't say this to gain sympathy, but only to testify that prayers really do work.

Even though I didn't see how a mountain could be placed in my way, it came. Mountains come in all shapes and sizes. These mountains/trials/hard times/testimony builders come often, and sometimes even when we don't say a prayer for them. But in my case, my prayer was indeed answered. My faith is so much stronger than where it was last year. My testimony is firm, as I am still climbing to the top of my mountain. I am certain that even though prayers aren't answered in the way we necessarily desire, they are answered. This last year has not been at all like I thought it would be, but in someways it has been even more incredible. So many opportunities are coming my way, and I know that without my earnest prayers these last few months, I wouldn't have been given these opportunities. I am grateful for the talks I have found during exceptionally hard nights, the people who have became my best friends by constantly being there for me, and for the feelings of comfort given to me when I have felt nothing close to peace. Maybe I wouldn't wish this mountain on anyone else, but I am beyond grateful (not always happy, but grateful) that this mountain could be mine and that I can strengthen my testimony because of it.


*Here, in case you prayed for a mountain to climb too, these are a few "spiritual packets of sunlight" for exceptionally dark days:

-"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing." (Henry B. Eyring)

-"As we pass through the trials of life, let us keep an eternal perspective, let us not complain, let us become even more prayerful, let us serve others, and let us forgive one another. As we do this, 'all things [will] work together for good to [us] that love God.'" (James B. Martino)

-I testify that when the Lord closes one important door in your life, He shows His continuing love and compassion by opening many other compensating doors through your exercise of faith." (Richard G. Scott)

-"Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love." (Richard G. Scott)

And that, my friends, is why and how I am climbing my own mountain.

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