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practically a pessimist post

Originally this was going to be a pessimism post, because I really didn't see a point in trying to be optimistic. I've seen quite a bit of negative lately so I figured I would simply follow the trend. However, when I began to write about something super negative, I recognized an blessing in disguise. 

Ew. A blessing?! 

Yup, a blessing.

Let me tell ya, when you want to find the negative, it is really frustrating when you can see a silver lining in everything. I think this last week has been the only time the gift of finding the good has actually seemed like a bad gift to me. (remember the scripture Isaiah 5:20, ya, this was applied directly to my life)

Say what you want, but satan is smart.

I mean, he was rather stupid when he wanted his own plan (that's a totally different story. But still) But he has so many clever ways to get us to follow him. I am sure he knew that this was one of the hardest weeks for me, and I am positive he knew that getting me to be negative would not only influence me but so many others. Thank goodness for neat prophets, friends, and kind people I see everyday who kept me going. 

Recently I've found myself in tears. A lot. (If you know me, then you know I hate crying- long story)  and I found myself relying on other peoples testimonies while mine was weak. I found myself thinking about the sweet sophomore whom I've grown to love this school year, and the positive example she is to me. I found myself remembering what one of my friends had told me about prayer last year. I found myself constantly seeing the good, and I am so so so grateful for it. 

This week I may have been without a best friend, I may not have gotten the answer to my prayer, I may have somehow been behind in every single class, I may not have been able to swing like I really wanted to (s/o leg that isn't healing properly), or even rock the interview I worked so hard for but I found something greater; I found the silver linings.

This week I recognized that I have a gift, the gift of finding the positive. This week made me realize that I am so much stronger than I thought. This ridiculously hard week taught me that my Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. This week I was able to learn that everyone has limitations, and you don't have to pretend to be okay in front of other people. This week I learned that the sun really does shine through the darkness, even if it is only a little tiny ray of sunshine. And oh how happy I am for that little ray of sunshine. So yes, this is the end of my pessimist post because it turns out I'm not very good at them, so I think I'll go back to permanently trying to find the happy things. After all, "the essence of the gospel is optimism."

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